VANESSA'S TALE
Oulton Park 2012
Vanessa’s drive in the park marks the end of my 2012 race season, and the third in the trilogy of race tracks calling themselves a Park. I had planned to only do circuits that interested me, but having missed the boat for Brands Hatch I had gone to the much-loathed Mallory instead to get my season underway, and the car on TV, however briefly.
Following that with Cadwell, Helen would have been here at Oulton but for the need to make sure that Vanessa works. For she is hired for this very circuit in a fortnight, and we have added upgrades and repairs since she was last in action. It would be sensible to test them, and what better way than to race the car at the very same track?
The class structure of the pre-93 Touring Cars allows me to simply substitute the two cars. There is no faffing about here with whether the bonnet is steel or fibreglass, so whilst Helen and Vanessa are different in many ways, both are 4 litre machines that go into class A, and I can bring any class A car I want to.
As she’s got bigger brakes on the front, 17” rims, and that means she’s wearing a set of old 888s I bought off Ebay for £120. We’ve run these at Cadwell earlier in the year to get a feel for whether we were going to find more grip on the tyre before we committed to buying them properly. Throw some old junk on and see if they had more grip, and if so, then go and get some real ones. So these were nearly dead when they arrived, more dead after Cadwell, and after this race they are going to be really very dead indeed. Not a lot of tread, and not at their newest, freshest and stickiest. We think they are 4 years old, and compared to a brand new set I enthusiastically fingered in the tyre truck at Donington there is a distinct difference, these are harder to the fingernail, but we’ll worry about that some other time. It’s hard to argue with tyre wear at this price.
No testing, Oulton is expensive and my funds have been depleted by lawyers, so this is a straight into qualifying on race day. I don’t like doing this much, I don’t think, but then I have done it so very few times before. I think I need time to get up to speed, but I don’t know how true that is. I know there is an advantage to testing in that my lap 1 in qualifying can be instantly on the pace, and that is what we lose here, plus data on tyre pressures, setup etc. But this is a hoon in the park, not a “serious” race about results. This whole season has been about having great fun against impossible odds. We can’t possibly win this race, and that’s the fun of it.
So we arrive at Oulton early on the Friday evening, with naught to do but unload and wait. Passing chatter with a group of random racers turns into an amusing sidebar, the big mad Jag at Cadwell has earned herself a reputation. In this paddock, the XJS is an oddity, a crazy way of going racing, but it has earned itself healthy respect from the speed it demonstrated itself capable of there. There is genuine enthusiasm here.
As per our policy these days, no alcohol on the eve of a race. It does make a difference. As I spring happily out of my pit at 7am the following morn I can verify that the difference is night and day. There is no place for tiredness or fuzzy minds when heading out onto this track, she bites. And Vanessa is a very physical car to drive.
Scutineering is late-ish, and the window of time to arrive is relaxed. Quali is late morning, and there is little by way of urgency here. Vanessa arrived ready to go. Other than suiting up we’re done. One change we do make, other than to add the mandatory CTCRC livery, is to the seating position. Adding significant grip to the other car demonstrated some concerns about how well the belts grip the driver’s shoulders. Nessie has the same issue, potentially. The solution is to bring the driver up in the seat. Not the seat itself, but the driver. An accidental side effect is better forward vision over that long bonnet. And new proximity of roll cage and helmet, but it’s not yet a problem.
And so to qualifying. Kutuka style, again. Get there first, hold them up. First out in assembly again. I like to be there first and get on with it, not have to fight for my gap. 28 cars in this session, a couple of older cars joining in for the ride. A historic Firenza behind me appears to have a cage made of pipe cleaners.
Lights out, and go. My early laps are poor, the combination of technical circuit, different tyre and brakes makes me a slightly wayward pilot, but I am pushing on because you never know what’s going to happen late on, you cannot bank on setting your hot lap late in the session because there are other cars and anything can go wrong with any one of them. But I’m doing everything too early. Braking too soon, because the brakes are good and the grip is there. Downshifting too early because we’re travelling faster and I haven’t allowed for it. Apexing too early because the car turns when you tell it to without the slide and drift of the inferior rubber. The whole thing is a bit of a mess. The lead BMW and Cossie come past early, but after them, nothing in the mirrors til late in the session.
My braking issues get better as I work out where I can stop, and inevitably I then went too far. A late brake at the first chicane locked the rear tyres, and Vanessa bit me pretty hard. Full 360, right up against but not touching the tyres. Kept the engine going, selected second and resumed without stopping, but with the steering wheel still set for opposite lock I then gently scuffed the tyre barrier and scratched the paint. How stupid does that make you feel.
Hoping nobody noticed, back to it, and by about the fifth lap it made some sense. A BMW in the mirrors wishes to pass, but he has to work for it, they are fast in a straight line but not so brilliant in the bends, so he has to wait. Three corners after he howls by I pop out to swat a little 325, and an immense cloud of smoke appears ahead. Looks like a lockup so I don’t worry too much, but as I get there at proper speed it turns out to be an engine blow and I am completely blind. Can’t see a thing. Reasoning that there is a left hander somewhere here, I steer left, feeling for the kerb, which means a couple of yards down the grass until the smoke clears and quali can resume. I must watch Days of Thunder at some point, everyone talks about it.
Four cars I saw take to the grass at various points. An Astra put in the wall on the first flying lap. A Renault 5 seen spinning up the outfield at Cascades. A Mazda RX7 dropped all its coolant into Old Hall and pulled off, and as I came up to lap that Firenza he fell off too. Traffic in the later stages of this 20 minute session, coupled with the various fluids from the Mazda and the exploding BMW, meant that the faster times were set early. I said you have to put a lap together early!
Mine would prove to be the same, a 2.03.3 set on lap 3. By way of reference, the best I managed on R1Rs in testing last year was a 2.04.7, compared to the Bear’s XJS lap record here, 2.04 dead. Admittedly Nessie isn’t as developed as his car, but I had done a full day of testing in 2011 to set that lap time, and I've just done that 2.03 in 3 laps on alien tyres with brakes that I can't work out. So I can clearly do better yet. But she’s found a second and a half, and there is more to come. It is encouraging. My p11 grid slot is less impressive. Everything ahead is an M3 or a Cosworth, but for that big Vitesse.
To work out how we’re doing, a peek at David Howard’s time in that XJ12. We’re only 8/10 shy of him. That is encouraging. To be that close here is not awful.
Parc ferme as usual after quali, and a visit from the same chirpy
A passing MSA official squints curiously at me and the car. Yes, I did have a blue one last time out. I got bored of blue. Eyebrows disappear into his hairline. No, I didn’t repaint her for this meeting, changed the whole car. The shaken head suggests he’s not changed his mind yet about Jag drivers being a bit mental.
Refuelled, and a peek through the wheels at the brake pads, that’s all Nessie gets. We don’t even lift the bonnet, she is always reliable and we trust her to work. These are the meetings that seem so very easy, the car prepped properly before you leave, you can simply arrive and use it.
Once again, the big Jag in the paddock draws attention. Nobody here has ever heard of the JEC. We tell people there is a whole series for them. They don’t believe it. They just like marvelling at someone wanting to go hunting the tiny cars with such a behemoth. We like it too.
Qualifying was a reminder of just how physical this car is. No power steering, small wheel, and tyres with actual grip. You do have to give it a bit of muscle. Balanced as she is, she still needs a reminder who is in charge. The effort required has increased with the extra grip, and my ancient shoulders have noticed. Also that weight transfer under braking means we have rear brakes that are now too good for the job, we may need to reduce the rear pad area in due course.
And so to the race. 11th becomes 10th with that exploding BMW not taking part, and unlike my excursion at Cadwell 2 weeks ago, this grid is broad and allows some potential for making places off the line. Unlike CSCC events, we do get a green flag lap here. They take us from assembly via the short, Fosters circuit, round to the grid, grid up, then a full green flag lap. It is helpful, because it means a practice start, and I need that because I have only ever launched this car once before ever, and never on cold, bald 888s. In fact the Fosters circuit looks quite entertaining, the lack of a Hizzy’s chicane would appear to make for a very fast approach to Druids. That must be fun.
Lights out, go. Good start for Nessie, she likes pretty low rpm, squats and goes without much by way of silly smoking spinning rubber, gets the jump on several cars, the Cosworths don’t seem to get moving well. A big black M3 makes a right horlicks of it and we kill him immediately, heading left through the hole. We so very nearly jump my Cadwell nemesis in the red and yellow Cossie, but he pushes it through on the brakes, turn 1 is busy, the yellow Tomcat astern blats past into the corner, there’s a sideways Vitesse, but it’s all clean, no paint traded anywhere I could see.
24 cars at Oulton is still a busy first corner, but there is no sillyness. Baulked by the car ahead and trying not to kill that Tomcat, a purple one slips up the inside at Cascades. This is one of the bunch we chatted to last night who claimed that a 2.04 laptime here was achievable in a stock Fiesta, so obviously this cannot be allowed to stand, there is Jaguar pride at stake.
Immediately clear that we are faster than he is, by a fair margin, it’s just a question of picking your moment to pass cleanly. I show the nose a few times to distract, which is standard stuff, but on the second lap of this opportunity knocks, a far better exit from the chicane and Nessie powers past so easily I wonder if he broke it. No, as it happens. I wonder if his crew ought to have turned his boost up as he was demanding last night, because that was candy from a baby. It’s a different world to our usual one, people obsess about turbo pressures and fuelling, heat soak and intercoolers and other odd concepts. Put a really large and lazy engine in and shut the bonnet, it’s far easier.
Next up, that yellow one. We outqualified him, and had we had brakes at Mallory we would have nicked his position there, so we need this one too. The big black M3 is in the mirrors though, and he is so much faster this is going to be when, rather than if. He can go 5 seconds per lap faster than this, but the Jag is quite wide and getting wider. We shrug off his attack for a lap or so until he gets us on the outside of Cascades. Brave, but he has the grip to try, and though Nessie noses ahead on the exit, he has the power to streak past. Nice move, must remember that one.
Encouraged by this, we close on the yellow Tomcat and do the exact same trick to him a lap later. Great fun. But then that leaves us in p9, one up on where we started, and hunting two M3s. I know we can’t, but I won’t accept that. With clear air, faster cars to chase, and my head about straight, we can at least put in a laptime. Which is what the rest of the race was about. No more direct racing, it was a tail chase on the two cars 200 yards ahead, losing 20 yards or so every lap until finally it was clear that there was no
There was a moment, about two laps from home, that I couldn’t see another car. As I came round Old Hall the Beemers I’m losing my grip on have gone over the crest into Cascades, the mirrors are empty because we left the Tomcats far behind, and I can’t see the leaders going down towards Hizzys because they’re not there yet.
A brief moment of panic sees my foot roll off the power and stare good and hard at the
Once again, no reported contact throughout the grid. Fast but clean. Again. Five races I’ve been out with the CTCRC so far, and the only damage I’ve seen was the rather dopey crash between the two Cossies at Mallory hairpin. It is a different world.
As, once again, the only car in class A, our victory was assured by finishing the race. As a rather amusing aside, this 4th class win garners enough points that we now accidentally win the Pre-93 class A championship this year. Primarily by showing up, which is rather funny. This year was absolutely not about that at all though, it was about trying something new, and pitting ourselves against better machinery and drivers, to see how we stack up out in the wider world, away from that microcosm of Jaguar-only racing. Not too badly, I think is the answer.
Collection of the timesheet brings a broad and unabashed grin. Nessa’s pace is encouraging. Bear is most cross. He says had I gone half a tenth faster and cracked the 2.01s he would have hurt me.
Howard in the XJ12 is again 8/10 faster in the race today, but that’s all. With fresh rubber, and testing to sort the brakes, Nessie would be quicker again. I think I can find that 8/10 and more. That sort of pace, without tinkering with Jaguar’s engine, electronics, or drivetrain, is encouraging.
That said, she’s already gained 2.5 seconds on her previous best. That’s not bad for a rusty driver on screwed rubber. There is speed here to be found. Vanessa is hired for Oulton in 2 weeks. Tradition for a Kutuka car is for the hire car to have a really good race, then a rookie write her off immediately afterwards. Oh dear.
But it’s not over yet. The tyres are fried, you can feel and hear it inside the car, but that puts us into more familiar territory, the Old Hall drift is a long Kutuka tradition, and it’s predictable. Nessie’s balance improved as the rear pads wore down to nothing, and our fastest lap came out at a 2.02.049.
At 20 min duration we do get 10 laps in, the leaders are at under 2 minute laptimes, so it’s a full length race. And that means that late on my nemesis Cosworth breaks down and we’re up to p8. Eighth on this grid is not all that bad, I’ll take 8th with this car.
Mandatory stickers demands a departure from Nessa's old livery, but we've no qualms about permanent CTCRC residence.
Once we scraped the early morning ice off, it turned into summer's last hurrah, and Nessie went for a final fling in the park.
Oops
In case the Firenza was going to be fast, I had Bear nobble the driver.
He's seen here nursing the head wound.
Braked too late, overbraked the rear end, and it all went a bit wrong.
And this was after my fastest lap in quali.
Heading for the kerbs at Lodge.
Awkward corner, but great fun, back end sliding under power, off camber and an invisible exit.
Kaboom!
Cough.
A rather humbling scuff mark down the wing because I'm too stupid to unwind the lock before setting off again.
Apparently I am human.
Two views of that engine blow. It all looks very mild from my camera, until you see the other guy's footage and the mad Jag battering into the gloom!
I scuffed the paint.
This guy had a worse day. Turn 2 of the first flying lap.
It would make you cranky.
The CTCRC hospitality unit. Sometimes bigger than this, but always at every event, dispensing free tea and coffee to drivers and their entourage.
Better photographed from her good side.
We stole a lot of photos from Flickr, which we don't really understand yet, so sorry to whoever took these shots!
Apparently this is Lightning McQueen.
I don't know much about kids cartoons, but I reckon if he took the eyes off the windscreen he wouldn't have rammed the Skyline.
Strike a heroic pose and pretend that we really can keep up with these cars.
Someone might fall for it.
We don't usually put up pictures of Officer David, because he hurts us. But when the fly smudge on the screen makes it look like he's smoking, we can't resist.
And away they go...
There is a great freedom to knowing you can't win, it takes all the pressure off, and I can't deny that this year has been enormous fun.
Even now we can't quite believe that we made a car that looks this pretty in motion.
And that she is so very quick with only 260bhp. We're not complaining, Nessie had a great day out.